SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLRobert Kraft Announces Jerod Mayo Hire Mid-Happy EndingPublishedJanuary 12, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLBob Kraft: ‘We’re Already Searching Through Insane Asylums For A Possible Belichick Replacement’FOXBOROUGH, MA—While paying tribute to the departing coach’s 24 seasons and six titles, New England Patriots owner…PublishedJanuary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLThe Onion Looks Back On Bill Belichick’s 24,000-Year Reign Of DarknessFull article.PublishedJanuary 11, 2024
SportsFootballSportsFootballJames Webb Telescope Finds Evidence Of Packers Secondary Lined Up 20 Million Light Years Off ReceiversPublishedDecember 18, 2023
SportsFootballSportsFootballSilhouette Of Chainsaw, Blowtorch Visible Through NFL Injury TentFOXBOROUGH, MA—Noting that whatever was happening to the injured New England Patriots player could not be good,…PublishedDecember 18, 2023
SportsGolfSportsGolfTaylor Swift Named Golf Magazine’s Club Of The YearNEW YORK—After testing all the most popular woods, irons, and putters from top manufacturers, the editors of Golf Mag…PublishedDecember 11, 2023
SportsFootballSportsFootballTony Romo Hauntingly Predicts Exact Time And Place Of Jim Nantz’s DeathEAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Stunning viewers with his prophetic commentary, Tony Romo predicted on air Sunday the exact…PublishedDecember 11, 2023
SportsNews In PhotosSportsNews In PhotosLIV Golf Announces Fans Concerned Over Israeli-Palestinian War Can Make Donations To Saudi Royal FamilyPublishedNovember 17, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLMac Jones Reveals He Called Tom Brady To Discuss Never Calling Tom Brady AgainFOXBOROUGH, MA—Sharing details about a recent conversation with the former New England field general, Patriots…PublishedNovember 17, 2023
SportsSportsParents Annoyed Coach’s Son Gets Preferential Verbal AbuseSWANSEA, MA—Frustration among the spectators at a local Little League game was reportedly rising Friday as the…PublishedNovember 3, 2023
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballWorld Series-Winning Rangers Owner Immediately Voids Entire Team’s ContractsPublishedNovember 2, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLMan Flips Between Quarterback Being Best Ever, Worst Ever 386 Times In Single PlayCHESWICK, PA—His mind racing as he watched his hometown Pittsburgh Steelers play on television, local man Troy…PublishedNovember 2, 2023
SportsBasketballNBASportsBasketballNBAMotivated Kawhi Leonard Circles Date Of National TV Matchup On Calendar To Sit OutPublishedNovember 1, 2023
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballMLB Announcer Unsure Why He Currently Stating Pitcher’s Birth WeightPHOENIX—Midway through an anecdote during a break in the action in the World Series, MLB announcer Joe Davis…PublishedOctober 30, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLLopsided Fantasy Trade Offer Forces Man To Reconsider How Friend Must Perceive HimCONCORD, NC—Explaining that the proposal completely upended his previous understanding of their friendship, a…PublishedOctober 30, 2023
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballOn-Fire Adolis Garcia Hits 3 Home Runs In Single At-BatPublishedOctober 27, 2023
SportsBaseballSportsBaseballDiamondbacks Owner Admits Nothing Will Top Beating Yankees After 9/11ARLINGTON, TX—When asked about whether he was looking forward to his team’s upcoming World Series matchup against…PublishedOctober 27, 2023
SportsBasketballSportsBasketballVictor Wembanyama Admits He's A Little Overwhelmed By Speed, Intensity Of NBA GroupiesSAN ANTONIO—In a thoughtful reflection on the start of his rookie season, San Antonio Spurs power forward Victor…PublishedOctober 27, 2023
SportsBasketballNBASportsBasketballNBANBA Drug Tests Ben Simmons After 9-Point ExplosionPublishedOctober 25, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLModern-Day Mother Teresa Waits For Player On Stretcher To Give Thumbs-Up Before Considering Fantasy ImplicationsSTERLING HEIGHTS, MI—Demonstrating a level of selflessness and compassion for his fellow human that was worthy of…PublishedOctober 23, 2023