PoliticsFederated Union Of Bear Cub Carcass Dumpers Endorses RFK Jr.MONTPELIER, VT—Making the announcement from the steps of the powerful organization’s national headquarters, the Federated Union of Bear Cub Carcass Dumpers endorsed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for president on Monday. “The Federated Union of Bear Cub…
PoliticsProject 2025 By The NumbersThe Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 has been widely criticized as “extremist” and “authoritarian.” The Onion takes a look at the statistics behind the conservative plan for a second Donald Trump administration.
PoliticsKamala Harris Rushes To Marshall’s To Buy Nicer Work ClothesWASHINGTON—Figuring a wardrobe update would play well with voters, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly rushed to Marshall’s Tuesday to buy nicer work clothes. “It’s time I finally invested in a decent blazer,” said Harris, who flipped through…
Politics‘Really, Really, Really Happy For You, Kamala,’ Says Hillary Clinton, Not Letting Go Of Handshake
PoliticsPoliticsDemocrats Panic After Kamala Harris Ages 40 Years In Single NightWASHINGTON—Arriving for a campaign strategy session with the vice president and staring in disbelief at her frail,…PublishedJuly 22, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsKamala Harris Turns Down Democratic Nomination To Work On Alaskan Fishing VesselWASHINGTON—In a significant setback for the already-reeling Democratic Party, Vice President Kamala Harris…PublishedJuly 21, 2024
PoliticsNews In PhotosPoliticsNews In PhotosTrump On Accepting Nomination: ‘This Is Boring, I’m So Bored’PublishedJuly 18, 2024
PoliticsNews In PhotosPoliticsNews In PhotosTrump: ‘You All Look Really Stupid With Those Things On Your Head’PublishedJuly 18, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsBiden Told He Won Election As Aide Gently Closes His EyesWASHINGTON—Kneeling beside him as he softly stirred, an aide reportedly told President Joe Biden on Thursday that he…PublishedJuly 18, 2024
PoliticsNews In PhotosPoliticsNews In PhotosUsha Vance Gently Corrects RNC Usher Attempting To Deport HerPublishedJuly 18, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsKamala Harris Freaked Out After Seeing Her LinkedIn Profile Got Over 30 Views This WeekWASHINGTON—Her heart racing as she stared at the page, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly freaked out Wednesday…PublishedJuly 17, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsWho Is Trump’s VP Pick J.D. Vance?Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump recently selected Ohio Sen. J.D. Vance as his running mate. The Onion…PublishedJuly 16, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsSobbing Marco Rubio Refuses To Come Out Of Bathroom StallMILWAUKEE—Giving the senator a moment to collect himself, aides reported this week that a sobbing Marco Rubio was…PublishedJuly 16, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsTrump Rewrites RNC Speech To Remove All Mentions Of Never Getting Shot In EarMILWAUKEE—Following the chaotic events of the past 48 hours, former President Donald Trump reportedly rewrote his…PublishedJuly 15, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsPete Buttigieg Trapped Beneath Derailed Model TrainWASHINGTON—Trapped beneath nearly five pounds of aluminum and plastic, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg…PublishedJuly 12, 2024
PoliticsPoliticsPros And Cons Of Impeaching The Supreme CourtRep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has introduced impeachment articles against Supreme Court Justices Clarence…PublishedJuly 12, 2024