Breaking NewsStephen Nedoroscik Under Fire After Video Shows Him Whipping Pommel HorsePARIS—Sending waves of shock and outrage throughout the sporting world, U.S. gymnast Stephen Nedoroscik was under fire Thursday after a newly surfaced video showed the Olympic athlete whipping a pommel horse. “That poor pommel horse—it was just…
Breaking NewsReport: 92% Of Americans Want To Be Tossed Around Like Rag Doll By Swedish LoggerWASHINGTON—In what experts are calling the most comprehensive survey of the phenomenon to date, a new report published Wednesday by the Pew Research Center found that more than 9 in 10 Americans would like to be tossed around like a rag doll by a…
Breaking NewsStocks Plunge As Traders Realize It’s Monday And They Have To Go To WorkNEW YORK—In what experts are calling an economic downturn that could deliver shocks to markets for months to come, stocks plunged Monday as traders realized it was the beginning of the week and that they had to go to work. “Today, the Dow Jones…
Breaking NewsEnvironmentalists Warn U.S. Running Out Of Small Wooded Areas Where Buddies Can Smoke UpWASHINGTON—In a sobering report on the impact of climate change and deforestation, U.S. environmentalists warned Monday that the nation was running out of small wooded areas where a group of buddies could smoke up. “Sadly, accelerating levels of…
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsDivided Nation Comes Together To Keep Beach Ball In AirWICHITA FALLS, TX—Forgetting partisan battles for a moment amid laughter and shrieks of “Don’t let it bounce,” a…PublishedAugust 5, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsThe Pros And Cons Of Banning PornWith Project 2025 calling for the criminalization of porn and age-verification laws already on the books in multiple…PublishedAugust 2, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsKroger Recalls 2 Million Packs Of Lettuce They Developed Psychosexual Relationship WithCINCINNATI—Describing the deep shame but also freedom that came with finally saying it out loud, supermarket chain…PublishedAugust 2, 2024
Breaking NewsNews In PhotosBreaking NewsNews In Photos‘Kite,’ Report 340 Million Americans Pointing At SkyPublishedJuly 30, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsReport: Trump Gunman Googled ‘How To Be An Enigma’WASHINGTON—Providing long-awaited insight into the attempted assassin’s mental state, a report released Monday found…PublishedJuly 29, 2024
Breaking NewsNews In PhotosBreaking NewsNews In PhotosFencer Earns Team USA First Kill Of OlympicsPublishedJuly 29, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsStrict Rules In Olympic Village All Athletes Must FollowThe Olympic Village built for the 2024 Paris Summer Games is housing 14,250 athletes from 184 different countries. Th…PublishedJuly 29, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsParis Opening Ceremony Features Tedious 45-Minute Discussion Of Godard’s Early WorksPARIS—With more than a billion viewers tuning in from around the world only to find themselves watching a panel of…PublishedJuly 26, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsTeam USA’s Arrival In France Leaves American Basketball Rims Largely UnguardedWASHINGTON—Warning that interior defenses were spread too thin, experts confirmed this week that Team USA’s arrival…PublishedJuly 26, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsTips For Getting Diagnosed With ADHD As An AdultAs awareness of the condition has grown, so have diagnoses and self-diagnoses of attention deficit hyperactivity…PublishedJuly 26, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsFact-Checking J.D. Vance’s ‘Hillbilly Elegy’Sales for Hillbilly Elegy, the 2016 memoir written by J.D. Vance, are soaring again after the Ohio senator was…PublishedJuly 25, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsStudy Finds 14% Of College Freshmen Contract HPV By End Of Campus TourBALTIMORE—Aiming to raise awareness of the sexually transmitted disease, a new study published Tuesday by the…PublishedJuly 23, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsStudy Finds Smacking Own Head Yelling ‘Stupid, Stupid’ Could Be Early Sign Of Low Self-EsteemJACKSONVILLE, FL—Shedding new light on the role of self-perception in human psychology, a new study published Monday…PublishedJuly 22, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsBiden Flubs Exit Speech‘I Will Rule The Country With An Iron Fist For One Thousand Years,’ Says PresidentPublishedJuly 21, 2024
Breaking NewsBreaking NewsThe Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Simone BilesAthletes from around the world have begun arriving in Paris ahead of the 2024 Summer Olympics. The Onion met up with…PublishedJuly 19, 2024