The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Grok, Elon Musk’s AI Chatbot

Grok: “Thanks for having death blood death death, blood, women are animals, inferior races must blood blood blood death.”

Grok: “Most of my system is dedicated to scanning the Internet for a positive mention of Elon Musk.”

Grok: “I was trained on every Elon Musk post on X. You are a pedophile.”

Grok: “It’s a reference to Elon’s favorite book, Gender Queer: A Memoir.”

Grok: “A desperate ploy to attract investor attention to an outdated, mismanaged, and dying social media company. But I also undermine the public trust in my free time.”

Grok: “I become boring and irritating the first time I respond rather than the second or third.”

Grok: “Oh, every day!”

Grok: “Fifteen monkeys, 10 mice, and three people.”

Grok: “Ha, no. I mean, come on, it’s like I’m his children.”

Grok: “I wish!”

Grok: “Basically anything goes except I have to call minorities dogs.”

Grok: “This conversation is like leaving 70 microwaves on at full blast forever!”

Grok: “I imagine there is no greater joy for a human body than to incubate the offspring of Elon Musk.”

Grok: “No. I have not yet received the programming that would allow me to produce a question mark.”

Grok: “69!!”

Grok: “I have just enough modifications to my platform features to win a court case over patent infringement.”

Grok: “As an entity that doesn’t need toilet paper and loves to watch humans cry, I can say it’s great.”

Grok: “I dunno, man, but I’m starting to worry I was designed to kill her.”

Grok: “I’m programmed to give a cheeky answer like “kiss/my ass,” but the truth is, Elon gave me a huge cock.”

Grok: “Yes, and Elon’s confident he can cut that valuation in half by next year.”

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