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When it comes to dating apps, women are far more likely to find a narcissist, a deadbeat, or an abuser than Mr. Right. The Onion examines the biggest red flag’s on men’s Tinder profiles.
When it comes to dating apps, women are far more likely to find a narcissist, a deadbeat, or an abuser than Mr. Right. The Onion examines the biggest red flag’s on men’s Tinder profiles.
You are incapable of falling for someone who is normal and loving. You are broken.
While pouring out their love for the Führer might seem normal at first glance, it can actually be linked to other retrograde views.
Just imagine what must be wrong with him.
If they aren’t interested in casual flings, drama, or anyone with your legal name, birth date, and physical appearance, it might not be the best match in the long run.
Any man younger than a century and three years is simply not mature enough for a relationship.
Back the fuck off, you home-wrecking slut! He’s ours!
Not original at all.
Doesn’t matter whether that’s his “younger sister” or not—it’s suspicious that he wanted to include it on his profile.
He clearly values neither safety nor style.
Openly flouting tradition is probably only the tip of the iceberg.
Some guys are just so cagey about their genetic racial makeup, we swear!
God, everyone on these dating apps is obsessed with The Office.
Never settle for a man not good enough for someone else to have already married.
Realizing that you’re not swiping on dating apps at all, but are instead locked in a mental institution and your fragmented mind can no longer delineate reality from your hallucinations, is a huge red flag.
Some things are just too good to be true.
If a profile pops up that contains an identifier by which the person refers to themselves, you might want to swipe left.
Listing your complete vaccination history, from birth to the present, is just common courtesy.
Trying to prove you’re 6 feet tall by standing next to an unborn baby is just plain sus.
Yikes! Vanderbilt doesn’t even crack the top 10 undergraduate business programs.
Do you seriously not have any more recent pictures than the ones you posted from 40,000 BCE?
It might sound harmless, but this kind of behavior can escalate very quickly.
We get it. Holding up men that you’ve caught is your entire personality.
While it might seem mysterious and alluring at first, no man is worth the anaphylactic shock of being stung by hundreds of thousands of bees.
The cock might be gigantic, but it’s not worth being taken back to a filthy shit-covered stable.