
Presidential candidate Donald Trump recently remarked that if he loses the 2024 election it will “be a bloodbath for the country.” The Onion examines what he might have meant by the statement.
Presidential candidate Donald Trump recently remarked that if he loses the 2024 election it will “be a bloodbath for the country.” The Onion examines what he might have meant by the statement.
Pretty straightforward, honestly.
Stabbing and stabbing and stabbing with a sharp, blood-stained knife can often get messy.
At least he came right out and said it.
Awwwww! Look at that little droopy face! Look at it!
No need to panic. Trump doesn’t plan on committing violence against anyone other than his loved ones.
When Trump hosted the popular reality television program, he famously referenced the bloodshed of his enemies and called immigrants animals.
What you interpreted when you heard him predict a bloodbath says more about you than about Trump. He was merely holding up a mirror to your subconscious.
The rally caught him in a moment of panic after using the restroom.
Although the ‘bloodbath’ comments sound alarming out of context, Trump was simply threatening to personally lock the doors of the Ford plant with everyone inside and light it on fire.
Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter what Trump said—it only matters how he made you feel.
Trump was referring to the fact that if he is not elected in November, Democrats will set up special booths in Chili’s where only bald men can sit and talk about bald things.
Looks like he’s having one of his episodes. Better tie him down so he doesn’t hurt himself.
Due to Trump’s propensity to deliver speeches in the more literary Old Church Slavonic, subpar translators often take creative liberties.
The threat of violence is not conditional—it’s assured!
Losing the election means he’ll have even more time to play, which could cause the lines between reality and Grand Theft Auto to blur even more.
In order to elicit sympathy, Trump was trying to say that if he lost, he was going to slit his wrists in the tub for real this time.
Trump is a massive fan of Opeth, Katatonia, and Paradise Lost, so when you put their members together? That’s a match made in hell.
If Biden emerges victorious in 2024, Trump has threatened to wear his vampire dentures and bite Democrats’ necks.
Trump’s allies said he was extremely nervous that Biden would trip, fall, and accidentally break something if he wasn’t careful.
On day one of his second term, Trump has vowed to order every single one of his supporters to converge on Red Cross headquarters and donate several liters of blood.
He’s keeping a gigantic blue marlin alive in a tank to drown his sorrows with should the election not go his way.
All the stress of losing would calcify small stones in his ureter and cause him to pee blood.
This is exactly what happened last time Melania let him watch it.
He keeps trying to clarify this, but the media keeps spreading lies and calling it a gaffe.
Run.