What To Tell Your Teenager If They Get Pregnant

Jesus, it’s like you have to do everything for them.

There are no stupid questions.

Having a real world example will make the subject easier to explain to your child.

Play your reality TV cards right, and you’ll be rich.

This is no time to let a solid burn go unused.

That fetus can’t come out of the womb for 18 months.

It’s important to remind the audience at home what the characters’ relationship to one another is.

You were considering having another child, and this seems like a fortuitous opportunity.

A little optimism can help brighten what would otherwise be a very stressful situation.

Getting some action still deserves a high five.

This will reassure them that they’re totally on their own with no one to turn to.

Oh my god, he’s so dreamy.

It’s your responsibility to let your child know one glass of wine here or there is still probably fine.

Good energy, even though that part doesn’t happen for another eight and a half months.

No one will be able to tell that you weren’t listening.

You always have, and you always will.

Let them know they have absolutely no options.

Reassure them that their baby will also probably turn out mostly fine.

Ugh, gross! First she wants to know about condoms, and now this?

Comment this on your teen’s Instagram announcement and you’ll get at least five likes.

Typically, the race is chosen at time of birth.