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With prices for digital currencies plummeting, The Onion provides helpful advice on what to say to someone who lost all of their money in the crypto crash.
With prices for digital currencies plummeting, The Onion provides helpful advice on what to say to someone who lost all of their money in the crypto crash.
Broken, vulnerable people are in prime position to be open to His word.
Let them know what to do next time they want to get involved in a pyramid scheme.
They should have gotten scammed in a more interesting way.
You never know when a fun animal fact might brighten someone’s spirits.
They did just say they lost everything, but it doesn’t hurt to ask before you try the 7-11 around the corner.
Better late than never.
They’ve proven they’re bad with money. Might as well exploit it.
Help them focus on the silver lining that traditional currency could collapse someday too.
Follow the smart money.
Hey, if you sense blood in the water, you should just make your case and see what happens.
They may as well join the other gibbering idiots in our readership trying to take their minds off their abject failures in life.
Being a stable currency with federal guidelines would have taken all the fun out of it.
It’s considered polite to engage with them in a way they’ll understand.
It’s not going to be easy for them to start over, but you can help get them back on track to lose it all again.
Most likely.
Being able to share stories about being screwed over by the same person can help you bond and get over your traumas.
Better to lead with this before they can start dropping hints about needing someplace to crash.
Your job as a DJ is to play the hits regardless of who’s in the crowd.
After being defrauded in a massive investment scam, it’s comforting to know the only thing left to do is end it all.