Lies All Police Officers Are Legally Allowed To Tell You

The lie most commonly told on the job is also 100% legal.

This is often said halfway through firing all of the bullets in their gun.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell they’re just a 40-year-old-man holding a skateboard, so keep your eyes open.

Do not fall for this trick. It’s just a way for lazy detectives to crack cold cases.

While they are technically still allowed to say this, most just don’t bother anymore.

It’s sneaky, but cops are protected if they show up at your door pretending to seek skin cell and saliva donations for the less fortunate.

Deep down, the police know God is a human construct or, at best, indifferent to our affairs, but that won’t stop them from saying the Almighty totally busted you.

All right, we’ve all heard this one before and know what happens next.

Exploiting your sense of childlike wonderment is as underhanded as they can get.

It doesn’t, and what’s worse is they’re pitting us against the ocean’s noblest little guys.

Your missing child is a goner, but legally nothing is stopping them from lying and giving you the false hope that they just ran away after a silly argument at home.

Listen, if you had magic words that kept you from facing any consequences after killing somebody, you’d use them all the time, too.

Even if they’re caught on camera murdering somebody, police officers are permitted to say this if it will prevent someone from losing their job.

Just because it was their favorite option doesn’t mean it was their only option.

No one in their right mind would believe this, but they are allowed to say it.

It’s all part of successfully pulling off the deception inherent in being a plainclothes officer.

The last of the Law Enforcement Vanity Acts was abolished in the ’80s.

This is clearly just a tactic. It’s the district attorney, not the cops, who decides the luxuriousness of your jail cell.

You have been married for long enough to know that this cop only loves their gun.

As with most government offices, the actual timeline for processing paperwork is somewhere between three to five business days and a year and a half.

Despite what you may have seen on TV, the police have no authority to arrest anyone.

While that might be true, their hand is still definitely covering the lens.

You have no friends, remember?

Because it always gets prolific killers to confess, police are allowed in questioning to simply pretend to share the same core philosophies that drove a suspect to kill.

There are no good ones.