
Following the 92-year-old’s announcement that he was retiring from the Fox and News Corporation boards, The Onion asked Fox News viewers what they thought about Rupert Murdoch stepping down, and this is what they said.
Following the 92-year-old’s announcement that he was retiring from the Fox and News Corporation boards, The Onion asked Fox News viewers what they thought about Rupert Murdoch stepping down, and this is what they said.
“The woke lynch mob finally got to him, too.”
“That’s not the real Rupert Murdoch, though.”
“I’ll miss him. He’s the man who taught me all three facts I know.”
“Wow, this is just like that HBO show Girls.”
“I hate Muslims. What was the question?”
“I’ll miss watching Rupey’s Realm every night.”
“Say what you will about the guy, but he broke barriers. The full-frontal shot of him naked on Fox back in 1996 was the first time I’d ever seen a man in the nude.”
“Yeah, I saw the job opening on Indeed this morning.”
“I just hope that Fox News is able to maintain its journalistic integrity with someone else at the helm.”
“I wonder if he’s nice in real life.”
“The #MeToo movement got him too, huh? Wait, it didn’t? That’s honestly surprising.”
“Everyone deserves to sit back and enjoy the hellish chaos which they wrought.”
“I kiss Mr. Rupert face on the television. I kiss him face when it appear large on my flat-screen television. I hug the television with massive sad passion for Mr. Rupert. I hug television too tight and kiss him picture too hard and television falls, falls on top and crushes Martha!”
“Thanks to him, I don’t believe anything I read, see, hear, smell, or taste.”
“I will now carry on my father’s mission to usher in the Age of Darkness.”
“I hope I can still be that evil when I’m 92.”
“That makes sense. Journalism is a dying field.”
“As long as the young Aryan ones are still on my television screen, I don’t care.”
“With America’s bravest watchman finally stepping down from his post, the immigrants are safe to start raping and murdering for real now.”
“Frankly, I think someone should shoot him with a gun.”
“Every time I’m at a school board meeting screaming about gay teachers trying to teach children to read despite having no children of my own, I do it for Rupert Murdoch.”
“He cannot hide from me. I will haunt his shadow. I will kill him where he sleeps.”
“He did a lot of good work, but it’s time for us to take the reins.”
“He probably quit because Fox got too woke.”
“Hey, I’m Larry! Loggins’ my name, and loggin’s my game! Jews are not white!”